In my last job, I got to work between 9:30 and 10:30 everyday. I woke up between 7 and 8 and hit the road around 9 or 9:30. Now I find myself leaving around 6:30 which means waking up at 5 so I can make it to New Teacher Institute on time. I know the school year is going to be no different. As a result? By lunch I’m completely grumpy.
I realize this is something I need to get used to. I’m no longer the night owl I once was. I also no longer have to go into work on Saturdays and Sundays. I can work from home. But when I am already ripping my hair out and we start talking about something I am extremely educated on and the false methodologies are mistaken for accurate, I want to scream.
I have a lot of opinions about things. But this blog isn’t entirely about my opinions. I am trying to 1) save face and 2) recognize that what I say on here will forever be out in internet land. So the fact things are being said inaccurately isn’t the problem here.
The problems are:
1) I’m a perfectionist. I know biology and I know it very well. But THIS DOESN’T MEAN I CAN TEACH IT. So while I want to pipe up every time I hear someone saying something about science that is wrong, my job isn’t to knit-pick their understandings. Right now my job is to take the information and processes they are giving me to become an excellent teacher.
2) I am stressing about things I don’t need to stress about just yet. Last night someone told me I don’t need to be a 5th year teacher on my first year. Right now it is trial and error. Of course, being grumpy, I completely bit his head off. But he is right. I AM NOT A FIFTH YEAR TEACHER. I am learning.
3) Understanding sharing and stealing resources doesn’t mean I have to do it their way. For example, I want objectives. So I am going to write objectives and check them off one by one. Other people may find this mundane and a waste of time. But my brain works well looking at the small pieces and putting them together into large picture so that is how I am going to roll. It will help me organize my units if I can make the connections with the puzzle pieces in front of me.
4) I need more sleep. I went to bed last night at 9:30. I am hoping a couple weeks of 9:30 bedtimes and I will be a happy camper. Caffeine may also help. Note to self – more coffee may also help.
So while this has been a useful week, it has also been stressful. However, to steal from Institute , not everything is in my locus of control. I have to do this no matter how stressed it may make me. Additionally, I cannot control what others know or do. I can only control how I react to others. So while we may all be stressed, I need to not let it get to me. And although not everything has been amazing, there are definitely awesome tidbits of information coming out of this week….